Category Archives: 2/5 Happy Monkeys

Raw Shredded Kale Salad

Raw Shredded Kale Salad

I’ve seen this described by two different raw chefs as being a favorite and delicious.  Well, I beg to differ.  It’s edible but that’s about all I’ll give it.  It barely gets a 2/5 happy monkeys.  I had to dump garlic bread seasoning on it just to make it edible.  Don’t get me wrong, I like kale–I like it a lot in fact.  For a while it was my favorite green. But in this shredded form, it just gets too dense and the kaley-ness is overwhelming, and not in a good way.


1 head kale, chopped
1 cup tomato, diced
1 cup avocado, chopped
2.5 tbsp olive oil
2.5 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp cayenne


Mix everything together and, as Alyssa Cohen says, squeeze to wilt the kale and cream the avocado.


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Filed under 2/5 Happy Monkeys, Anti-Candida Diet, Dairy-Free, Dinner, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free, Lunch, Raw, Salad, Sugar-Free, Vegan, Vegetarian

Raw Kelp Noodles with Mushroom Sauce

Raw Kelp Noodles with Mushroom Sauce
You can tell a recipe didn’t turn out quite as well as you hoped when you let the leftovers languish in the fridge while you continue to explore new recipes.  I was excited by the concept of creating a raw recipe in my head basically from scratch, one that I could truly call my own, but it is clear that this recipe needs some work before I would want to eat it again.  I only give this 2/5 happy monkeys.

I wish I wrote down what I did so that I can mess around with it some more.  What I do remember is that it had mushrooms, cashews, sunflower seeds, garlic, sea salt and too much rosemary.

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Filed under 2/5 Happy Monkeys, Dairy-Free, Dinner, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free, Raw, Sugar-Free, Vegan, Vegetarian

Raw Broccoli Chowder

Raw Broccoli Soup

My first raw recipe!  I mean, not counting Gazpacho, salad and such things that I normally eat anyway, but the first one that I purposely made raw.  I based this on a recipe from Victoria Boutenko’s book 12 Steps to Raw Foods.  I was pretty excited about my first raw soup, a creamy one based on nuts no less, that I ate it happily.  However, it either didn’t keep well or I simply realized, once my excitement died down, that it tasted pretty odd.  I haven’t finished my leftovers and I can’t say I’d make it again.  I give it a lowly 2/5 happy monkeys.


1 cup walnuts (could use cashews as well)
2 cups water
1/4 cup olive oil
1 cup chopped celery
1-2 cloves garlic
sea salt & cayenne pepper to taste
paprika or parsley for garnish


Blend one cup walnuts and one cup water until smooth. Add the rest of the ingredients except for the garnish. Blend well.

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Filed under 2/5 Happy Monkeys, Anti-Candida Diet, Dairy-Free, Dinner, Gluten-Free, Grain-Free, Lunch, Raw, Soup, Sugar-Free, Vegan, Vegetarian

Gluten-Free Biscuits

Gluten-Free Biscuits

These biscuits are gluten-free, but not grain free.  Yes, I admit it, I cheat on the No Food Diet every once in a while.  Or more accurately, I’m in phase 2 (phase 1 being the strict No Food Diet), where I am trying to add some complex carbs, starchy veg and low-sugar fruits back into my diet slowly.  I followed the strict No Food Diet for about three months, felt much healthier, and lost about fifteen pounds, but now I’m trying to modify a bit, as it is difficult to maintain forever.

My wonderful husband, excited about the expansion of my diet, decided to make me breakfast.  We bought Arrowhead Mills Whole Grain Gluten Free All Purpose Baking Mix (brown rice flour, potato starch, tapioca starch, baking powder, fava bean flour, and corn starch) last night so he tried the recipe on the back of the box for biscuits.

Well, at least they were called biscuits.  To us, they seemed more like unsweetened shortbread.  They had that crumbly, dense texture that shortbread has and looked like cookies.  This could have been because we altered the recipe somewhat, but I have a sneaking suspicion they would have come out similarly regardless.

They were yummy, especially with soy margarine and sugar-free apricot jam, but still, I can’t say we’d make these again.  I’m still trying to keep my carb intake low and these have about 21.5 grams of carbs in each.  I’d rather have a big bowl of corn flakes with soy milk and bananas (at 45 g carbs, this is a special treat I only get once in a while).  If we did try this again, we would probably modify the recipe some more.  Maybe by adding an egg and some cocoa powder and making them into proper cookies.

We gave this 2/5 happy monkeys.


1.25 cups baking mix

1/4 tsp sea salt (we used Kosher Salt)

2 tsp non-aluminum baking powder (we used aluminum)

1/4 cup canola oil

1/4 cup soy yogurt (we used Tofutti soy sour cream)

1/4 cup rice milk (we used soy milk)

1 tbsp honey (we substituted a little xylitol)

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  Combine mix, salt and baking powder.  Add oil and cut in with pastry blender.  Add yogurt, rice drink and honey.  Stir with fork.  Turn dough onto surface dusted with flour mix and roll dough to coat.  Shape into ball, roll into 1/2 in thickness.  Cut with biscuit cutter, then place on greased cookie sheet and let set 5 minutes on warm oven top.  Back at 425 degrees for about 12 minutes or until slightly brown.

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Filed under 2/5 Happy Monkeys, Breakfast, Dairy-Free, Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free, Vegan, Vegetarian